Posts Tagged ‘autobiographical

20
Jan
12

Back Again

This blog is not progressing very well, I must say.  Whole months and not a peep out of my mouth.  I have no excuses.  Time has not been my friend.

However, what you may not know is that currently, time is my greatest friend – you could almost say that we are now BFF’s.  That is because, miraculously, I am currently ensconced  in an armchair, in MY STUDIO, IN PRAGUE!  That’s correct.  Prague, as in the Czech Republic.  Cool, huh?  I was accepted to an artist residency program here at this very cool contemporary art organization, the MeetFactory (named because it’s first home was in just that, a meat factory, though now it is housed in an enormous old glass factory).

The MeetFactory in Praha

This has been the very definition of a luxury.  Time.  Space.  Room to move, to think, to experiment.  I had forgotten how amazing this was.  I feel like I’m back in grad school, but without all the stress, and with way better scenery!

Now, I’m not saying that this has been one big vacation.  The first week or so was a bit rough.  I had a hard time switching to this time zone, and then, there is this whole thing of not knowing a soul here, not speaking the language beyond “Ano” and “Ne” (Yes & No), and it being January and all and there not being a lot of folks just wandering around.  I was all of a sudden cut off.  Alone.  Actually, lonely.  No husband, no cute little furball of a cat, no job and co-workers, no students.  There were a few days where I saw tons of people and yet I didn’t say a word the whole day (I do a lot of nodding to try and avoid my horrible Czech prononciation).

This is a weird thing for me, at this point in my life.  Not talking.

In some ways, I think this threw me a bit, and affected my art.  I was existing totally within my own head.  This can be a weird place, one I wouldn’t recommend visiting, unless it’s a bright, happy day!  Kidding.  Kind of.

Anyway, I got stuck.

Now, I am un-stuck.  I’ll write again soon, where all I’ll talk about and show is my cool art and the neat stuff I’ve been doing, but this post, this is pure gratuity.  My “Dear Diary” kinda moment.  It’s been so long since I was forced to confront myself without any filters. No Tv, lots of books, but there is only so much that even I can read, limited internet (none at my flat).  Lots of time to think.  Reflect.  Remember.  I don’t know if I’m ready to admit this yet, but maybe I needed space to just think and be.  No distractions.  No obligations.

For now, I’m going to run with the idea that is has been positive, if slightly frustrating to start off.  I’ve still got two weeks left of  the residency, and the art stuff is kicking into high gear, which is getting me excited.  It’s easy to see now in retrospect that by unplugging, and removing myself that I would shift and see myself in a new light.  The tired old cliche about what going to an artist residency is all about.  But who knew that it could be so hard to do, to experience.  That unplugging can be down right difficult.  And I didn’t even go cold turkey!  Having to confront yourself without anyone or anything acting as a filter is not something many of us do on a daily basis in our wired world.  I’ll let you know how it goes from now forward….